Life Goes On

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.  ~Author Unknown

Over the past twelve weeks life has changed so much, but all of the changes made have definetly been for the better. I left what had beome my home and moved back to what has always been my home. I went from being a stay at home mom to a working mom and I had to send my 19 week old daughter to the daycare for the first time. Every day I wake up and thank God for my wonderful and supportive family and especially give thanks for the love of my life, Isabella. No matter what happens on one day, the next day will come with a fresh start and renewed hope. Life goes on.

Although the past weeks have, by no means been easy, I have embraced with great eagerness all the new opportunities that have been presented to me. For a while I was torn between going to work at as radiologic technologist and being a full time stay at home mom. Even though I missed the company of my peers and the fast pace of working in a hospital, I so dearly loved spending all my time with Isabella. Anytime she did something new, I was the first to see it. I woke up and fell asleep to her. My life had become all about her. I loved all the positives about each occupation but I knew I could not do both. Sometimes, we have no choice. As a single mother, the decision was made for me that I would go back to work so I could provide for my daughter. My first couple of weeks working have been very busy, educational, and all around good. I miss Isabella every second I am away from her but I do it so I can give her all she needs.

Dropping Isabella off at her first day of daycare was such an emotional morning for me. The night before, I packed all the things on her "needed" list plus quite a few extras. I was excited and anxious. I wanted everything to be perfect for her. She was all smiles when I handed her over to the teacher at the daycare. I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. I kissed her bye and hurried to put my sunglasses back on before all the ladies saw the big tears that were falling down my cheeks. At the end of her first week, she is very obiously one of the favorites among all the teachers and many of the other kids. When I pick her up the teachers rant and rave about how wonderful she is and lots of the kids say, "Bye Bella!" as we walk out the door. When I hold her in my arms, she puts her hands on my face. I like to think she is thinking, "Oh mama! I'm so happy to see you! Now lets go home and play!" It has brought me lots of comfort to know tht she is still happy at the daycare. I can be a little more at ease about sending her to spend a quarter of her day there.

Since my last post, Isabella has learned so much! She examines her toys, along with EVERYTHING else she can get her little hands on! And she has a tight grip which is usually clasped around the hairs at the nape of my neck! And she is so active! I always call her a wiggle worm and tell her she was born with ants in her pants. She never sits still! She loves to stand and to play in her jumper. All the different toys and music keep her pretty occupied.

I have had to start using her bouncer with caution. Isabella is quite mischievous already. She is always sitting all the way forward and leaning off the sides to grab anything around her. We have already had an incident where she fell from leaning too far forward. She also has a Bumbo seat that she sits in and watches everything we do. She watches me do my makeup and fix my hair. She is fascinated by the blowdryer. But she has started trying to stand up while in her seat. She straightens and stiffens her body. I may have to retire the Bumbo soon... My mom tells me stories of how I was mischievous when I was a little girl. I have a feeling I will be paying for it with Isabella. She learned to roll over from her tummy to her back at 4 months old and at 5 months old, she went from bobbling over after a couple of seconds of sitting by herself to sitting up for longer periods of time.

Becoming a mother has changed me to my core. Some things that once were very high on my list of priorities have become very unimportant now. My daughter and my family hold the most value to me. As I have learned, friends will come and go, but family is forever. I may not be surrounded by tons of friends all the time, but I am always surrounded by tons of love.

 

So, Isabella my love, your smile is absolutely captivating! You are happy all the time and you constantly put a smile on my face. When I sing songs like Patt-a-cake and Itsy Bitsy Spider and do the hand movements, you laugh out loud. And when I give you lots of kisses and tickle your neck, you laugh too. You are still a little girl but you have such a big voice! Your laughter is like music to my ears. Looking into your eyes and seeing you smile at me and touch my face makes my heart swell with more love than I have ever felt in my life. When I am away from you, I think of you constantly. I look forward to seeing you after work from the moment I say bye in the morning. Your smiling face is the best remedy for a stressful day. And I love to lay with you and softly tickle your arms, legs, face, and tummy until you fall asleep. I love you more than all the grains of sand on all the beaches of the whole world. Being your mom is, by far, the greatest, most important, and most rewarding job I will ever have.

Love Mama