With every day that passes I see something new that Isabella does. She is growing physically and intellectually faster than I ever thought possible. When I was pregnant with her, I tried to get as much information from reputable sources about my growing fetus and body. Now that Isabella is an infant, I have continued my search for knowledge on how her brain and body are growning and developing. Its amazing how their little brains are sponges! Absorbing any and all information that is presented to them, whether, it be in the form of a toy, an action, or words, every little thing seems to matter so much. I find myself worried that I may not open up enough doors for her. That I may not give her the nesessary tools to function when she gets older. I want her to be able to learn well, socialize well, adjust well to any sitution that may come her way, and to be, all together, well rounded. Any time I see a new toy or a new book I want to buy it and apply it to the way I am raising my daughter. Then I worry that I may put too much stress on her and that may have a negative effect in the future. Everywhere I turn there is advise about everything from sleeping methods, to feeding methods, to parenting methods, methods, methods, methods! Then I think about how my parents didn't have books or fancy toys or tons of methods to choose from. They just did what they felt was right for their children and themselves. I think that is the method I will choose. Always do what I feel is best for my daughter and myself. Babies grow and change constantly. Why would I think that one certain way should be the only way? It has only been 16 weeks and I guess I am not doing so bad. Isabella is happy, healthy, and is growing well. What more could a mother ask of her baby?
At this point in Isabella's life, she is laughing out loud. Her squeels, screams, and laughter fill our home with more joy than I have ever felt in my entire life. She grabs and holds on to EVERYTHING within reach, puts all those things in her mouth, and has a fascination with the Iphone. No matter what she is doing, if I show her my phone, she immediately stops and is almost hypnotized by the glow of the screen. She is developing a little personality too. I think she may be stubborn, like her grandmother! If she does not want something and I try to force her, boy! She lets me know that she is not having it!! She hasnt quite rolled over without any help yet but I am pretty sure she will be sitting up by herslef very soon. She also loves her grandpa! They play together, on the sofa, everyday after he gets done eating dinner and it seems that her grandma always knows exactly what to do to soothe her. Her uncle Joe is getting more used to her. He actually held her for more than two minutes this weekend. It was almost five minutes! Then he complained that she was heavy! I'm so sure! A 30 pack weighs more than my baby!! When I lay her next to me to take a nap, she likes to play with my face. She touches my cheeks, pinches my lips and grabs my nose. And she still likes to hold on to my fingers when she is falling asleep. I hope she doesn't out grow that one any time soon. She is truly everything I have always dreamt of.
My poor Lola is still trying to adjust to not being the "baby" anymore. For five years, it was all, always about Lola. And now, there is this little person who squeels and screams and makes lots of noise. Gets new clothes and fun toys all the time and gets everyone's attention. And a few times a day, she lets out some smelly goop that stinks up the trash! But I am confident that as Isabella grows, Lola will learn to adjust to her. Someday, Isabella will be a great buddy for Lola to play with. Her interactions with Lola will be one more way that Isabella can learn.
We are still adjusting to our new life, and from time to time, I dearly miss our old one. But Isabella has helped me immensly. Everytime I look at her beautiful eyes and see her big smile, my heart melts. All the sadness in my heart is instantly replaced with joy. And how much I love her is the only thing I can think about. I try to stay strong for the both of us. Hopefully the time when I don't have to try so hard will come sooner than later. But with this little angel in my arms, how could I possible be sad about anything?
So, Isabella, my love, I thank you for helping me be a stronger person. My life's ambition is to give all my love to you. Watching you grow everyday brings me more joy than I could possible explain. And I contsantly thank God for entrusting me with the blessing and responsibilty of being your mom. I ask Him to give me His peace, love, and patience. That I may always love you with the same unconditional love He has for us, his children. I thank Him for choosing me to hold your hand and walk with you until the day comes when you can walk alone. You are the most precious, huggable, kissable, and beautiful thing in my life!
Love, Mama
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