A Voice of Her Own

When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.
-- Japanese Proverb


Another appointment has come and gone at Cranial Technologies. I am glad to say we are half way through Isabella's treatment. It has been almost 7 weeks now that she has been wearing her helmet and I can see a significant difference in the shape of her head. For the first month or so, Isabella never really paid much attention to the helmet on her head, but, lately, she tugs at it when she gets frustrated. I usually try to draw her attention to something else when I see her doing this but, it is just so funny. When I see her express her emotions I can't help but laugh. She is such a character. We have been driving every other week to Dallas and back for her appointments. I had been only working on the weekends up until now, so it was easy for her and I to take a couple of days off for our trips. But, that is not the case anymore. So, we will most likely be flying for the remainder of the time. We will be able to go and come back in a matter of hours. I am sure it will be much more convenient for us both.

I have been working at Odessa Regional Medical Center as a radiologic technologist (x-ray tech) since April. I can honestly say that I really enjoyed my job. I would work graveyard shifts and on the weekends. I got to stay home with Isabella during the day and while she was sleeping, I was working. But, this position was only PRN, which means, As Needed. ORMC has been expanding and opening up several clinics in the surrounding area and I was offered a full-time position at a new clinic in Midland. Although I love working at the hospital, had learned lots of new things, and had made several new friends, a full time position would be much more stable, financially, for us. As parents, we have to make decisions sometimes for the betterment of our children. So, I begin working at my new position next week. I am excited and looking forward to this new environment. I hope I have great coworkers like I did at the hospital.

Since Isabella was old enough to make a sound, I have been telling her "Ma-Ma. Isabella, say Ma-Ma." I tell her this every day and several times a day. She usually will just look at me and laugh. On Sunday, September 18th, she said her first word. After months and months of me telling her "Ma-Ma" can you guess what her first word was? "Ouch!" Ouch was the first word out of her sweet little mouth! Isabella loves to throw everything on the floor. On this day, I had her sitting on her changing table dressing her and looking for her sandals in the bottom drawer. She was doing what she always does, grabbing the bottle of lotion and throwing it on the floor. Throwing the diaper cream, the brush, the nasal aspirator, everything on the floor. I am usually in the line of fire when she is throwing things down and am always telling her "Ouch! That hit me!" Well, I guess we know where she learned ouch from. A few days later, I heard her saying "Wowa" which is Lola. She will crawl right up to Lola and say "Wowa." It doesn't surprise me that the dog's name is one of her first words. She is always looking for and chasing Lola.

 

Our family has a routine that we follow most days of the weeks. After we eat dinner, my dad will watch TV in the living room, Isabella and Lola will both be in there with him, mom and I will clean up the kitchen and then join everyone else. Then we all play with Isabella and Lola and watch TV for a while. Then its bath time for Isabella, a bottle and I rock her in my arms until she falls asleep. This is my favorite part of every day. While I rock her, I say our prayers to her and sing and hum to her. I know "they" say you're not supposed to let your baby fall asleep in your arms because then they don't learn to self-soothe and put themselves back to sleep in the night, but I  don't care what "they" say! I let her fall asleep in my arms every night. Once she is sound asleep, with her head resting on my chest, I hug her, kiss her, smell her hair, and listen to her breathe. Usually, I love on her after she is asleep longer than it actually took me to put her to sleep. She has the most relaxing and comforting scent. It smells like...Isabella, with a hint of lavender and baby lotion. I wish I could bottle that scent and keep it forever.  If I have had a stressful day, I will sometimes smell her hair and listening to her breathe for an hour after she is asleep.

So, Isabella, my love, you have passed so many milestones so far, and now you have started saying words that we can understand. What's next? What spectacular thing will you do tomorrow? I look forward to any new surprises you have for me each and every day. But, you are changing and growing so fast! I wish I could slow down time. I want to never forget how precious you are to me, the sound of your chit-chattering, your big smile with two, then three, then four teeth.  I want to never forget your sweet scent. When we play and you laugh and talk and squeal, I sometimes take a moment and say a silent prayer. I ask God to please let me never forget this exact moment as long as I live. I know that before I had you to love, my life was missing something. My heart was not whole. Now, I cannot even fathom one day without you. I pity the person who chooses not to have you in his life. He has no idea how much he is missing. But, you are mine and I am yours. That will never change. I am so blessed to have found true, unconditional love. I would climb any mountain, cross any river, face any kind of peril for you. You are my everything.



Love, Mama